The Blog of Columbus, Georgia

THE BLOG OF COLUMBUS

Our latest Big Blog Question is based on the recent big trial in Columbus. Click here, vote and leave a comment!

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22 NOV 09: March in November

First there was the Fountain City Classic parade. Then came the Veterans Day parade. And in a way, Columbus had a parade this weekend for the third Saturday in a row - proving some people are NOT ready for a parade rest.

This time the marchers were in midtown, not downtown. And surprisingly, they had nothing to do with SOA Watch. They picketed along Macon Road, outside the Publix supermarket - as if they want Cross Country Plaza to become famous for nothing more than Chuck E. Cheese.

The Publix picket line was set up by Florida farm workers, who say their pay for picking tomatoes has remained unchanged for 30 years. You can understand why they're upset by this - since bad stand-up comics who have tomatoes thrown at them are paid much more these days.

The "Coalition of Immolakee Workers" told WTVM it is paid 45 cents to pick 30 pounds of tomatoes. Hmmmm - that comes to 1.5 cents per pound. So why is Publix's current price for "tomatoes on the vine" $1.99 per pound? Does keeping the vine add that much weight to the delivery truck?

The Coalition of Immolakee Workers compares its situation to slave labor of the 19^th century. But who told these workers they had to pick tomatoes? Admittedly the unemployment rate is high, but at least they can apply for other jobs. I've seen one company beg for workers at the Columbus Career Center often - as if people simply can't get enough life insurance.

It also doesn't help their cause that tomatoes seem to be in abundant supply worldwide. People throw them around in Spain every summer - and I wish a local food bank would fly there and steal some crates, so all that fruit is put to better use.

The Columbus march was part of a Publix protest tour across the Southeast. The supermarket chain responded to a march in Tallahassee by claiming it's a matter between farm workers and tomato growers. If they need someone to officiate this dispute, call the Southeastern Conference - where the football officials get it right about two-thirds of the time.

Yet that excuse by Publix hasn't worked for other supermarket chains in recent weeks. Kroger and Wal-Mart cut their connections with a blueberry grower in October, after an undercover investigation found the grower used child labor in the fields. Do Publix executives really want Brian Ross standing outside the main office, waiting to badger them with questions?

(That case in Michigan proves one thing - while you might have "Strawberry Fields Forever," blueberry fields need to be carefully reviewed.)

If I wanted to stage a protest outside Publix, I'd complain about the fact that the supermarket chain tends to have higher prices than anybody else. Publix admittedly has a classier reputation than Piggly Wiggly. And Publix sells fancy-sounding items like "water bread" - as if bread usually is made from ginger ale or something.

Some of the seasonal specials at Publix almost sound like the chain wants protests. Take the current weekly ad, which offers a "Small Decadent Dessert Platter." Devout Southern Baptists simply will not settle for this - because it's a step down the slippery-slope to large decadence, and the movie "New Moon" already has enough of that.

In a way, Saturday's Publix produce protest (say that five times fast) was refreshing. It allowed me to postpone writing the annual run-of-the-mill SOA Watch jokes. We can combine all of those for Monday - and if those protesters want to make it a two-march weekend, that will almost cover Columbus until the Christmas parade in December.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

E-MAIL UPDATE: Friday's review of Columbus stimulus projects sparked a reader's thinking....

Hi Richard:

Funny thing about that Rails to Trails funding is that we supoosedly collected the funds to pay for the trail from the Columbus Taxpayer during the last SPLOST. What happened to our tax dollars if they are not going to construction of the trail?

Just wondering since I am still walking or driving to the mall instead of taking the promised trail trolley.

We found a city Planning Department newsletter which says local sales tax provided the "initial funding" of $11 million for the east-west trail. The federal stimulus grant of more than one million dollars may reduce that cost. Or it may be used for nice extras -- and a few overhead lights might encourage more people to ride bikes on it after dark.

We're holding one other e-mail, while we wait for more information about it. So let's move on to other weekend news....

+ The Knology headquarters in Columbus had its second paper shredding drive of the year, called "Shred It and Forget It." So did any federal prosecutors show up, with records relating to Mark Shelnutt?

+ The Port Columbus museum received six old U.S. Navy cannons. They'll be displayed on the grounds, as soon as the staff concocts new stories about ghosts supposedly dwelling inside them.

+ The Centers for Disease Control released a county-by-county breakdown on national obesity. Our check of the maps found 30.5 percent of Muscogee County adults are obese, compared with 34.7 percent of Russell County adults -- which will reinforce the complaints about Phenix City having political "fat cats."

+ The U.S. Senate voted 60-39 to begin debate on health care reform. Alabama's Richard Shelby hurried back to Washington to vote no, after speaking to a conference of attorneys in Montgomery. Shelby may have told WSFA-TV the U.S. health care system is the best in the world, but the lawyers don't want to lose their right to sue for malpractice.

+ Kentucky kicked Georgia 34-27 in college football, to drop the Bulldogs to 6-5 on the season. Suddenly next week's showdown with Georgia Tech means a lot more - as coach Mark Richt might lose not only a winning season, but appearances in Ford F-150 commercials.

+ Alabama remained undefeated by chewing up Chattanooga 45-0. No one ever will mistake Bryant-Denny Stadium for a Chat-room.

(I read at least one complaint online about WXTX showing Mississippi State-Arkansas at first, instead of Alabama. Why watch a competitive football game, when you can see the equivalent of Jimmie Johnson racing someone on a motorcycle?)

+ Instant Message to the man on South Lumpkin Road who claimed the Tuskegee-Morehouse Classic is leaving Columbus, because Tuskegee University is upset: Tuskegee's Sports Information Director laughed at me when I told him that. If you really heard that on two TV stations, it's time you started using closed captioning.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 386 (+ 12, 3.2%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

21 NOV 09: Bend Those Knees

(BLOGGER'S NOTE: You may find the following item humorous, serious, or a little of both - but we offer these thoughts from time to time, as we keep a seventh-day Sabbath.)

Before I could get out of bed, the trash-talking was underway. "I know you were nervous," my next-door neighbor yelled to employees of a next-door business. And this comment came weeks before a soldier claimed he assaulted less than one block from my house....

It was the Monday morning after Alabama's narrow escape over Tennessee in college football. My next-door neighbor likes to wear Georgia clothing, so he let the Alabama fans next door know he was unimpressed. If those workers reminded my neighbor of Tennessee's big win over Georgia two weeks before, I couldn't hear it.

But then my next-door neighbor declared: "Your knees had to hurt - you were praying so hard." That one admittedly made me laugh in my bed. I wanted to open the window and tell my neighbor, "Good line, bad timing."

A funny one-liner? Yes, it was -- but hold on a minute. What's wrong with getting on your knees and praying? I did it a short time later, to officially begin my day. Admittedly, I never pray about the outcome of football games - but then, I also don't bet money on the outcomes.

With Thanksgiving Day approaching, we ought to be focusing on more than a big dinner. We even should focus on something bigger than family members who might come to visit. There's no better time to get on your knees and thank God for the blessings you have. For a dinner, for your family -- and OK, maybe a TV set to watch football instead of the final score.

Luke 18 in the Bible begins with a parable of Jesus - a parable with a purpose: "....that men ought always to pray, and not to faint." Admittedly, I've mixed these two from time to time. I didn't mean to do it, really. But kneel by your bed for a last prayer of the evening, and you might wind up asleep with no circulation in your legs.

If praying is new to you, the middle of Matthew 6 has a "prayer guide" spoken personally by Jesus. But don't overlook the verse before it warning: "....use not vain repetitions." I've heard emotional radio preachers insert "praise the Lord" all over their messages - even after they mention people robbing each other in big cities.

If you feel a need to make a "thank-you" list before praying to God, that's OK. It's a good idea to stop and count your blessings. It beats ad-libbing your thanks at the Thanksgiving table, while holding a large carving knife in your hand. Unless you're offering a sacrifice to God, that simply doesn't look right.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 374 (- 50, 11.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

20 NOV 09: Stimulate Your Thinking

As of today, the Barack Obama presidency reaches the ten-month mark. Democrats in general still seem to like him. Republicans in general still seem to loathe him. And China's Communist leaders seem to side with the Republicans - because they were concerned about the President indoctrinating people on television.

Have you been following the news reports about errors on the federal "Recovery" web site? The site details where stimulus money is going, yet it's listed congressional districts which don't exist. Wow - maybe Republicans are right, and the Obama administration is trying to rig next year's census.

I wondered if the Columbus area's stimulus projects are listed accurately -- especially after White House officials announced this week most of the errors on the web site had been corrected. But as of Thursday night, several obvious mistakes remained. Clearly White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs hasn't brought his Auburn background into this department.

It's a bit hard to pinpoint Columbus on the Recovery.Gov map of Georgia. So many dots are bunched together that it's difficult to determine exactly how many stimulus projects the area has. At first we found 32, then 31, then 37 - as if visitors to Wikipedia were put in charge of it.

So what errors did we find in the stimulus breakdown? Here's our list....

+ Five separate aid recipients are listed as the "County of Columbus." Close, but not quite. Maybe Rep. Sanford Bishop's children should head to Recovery.Gov for their next jobs, to fix this.

+ Money is allocated to "Boys and Girls Club of the Arkansas River Valley." Arkansas?! That sounds more like Wichita than Columbus - and the folks in Washington probably mispronounce it like the state, too.

+ The Georgia Department of Technical and Adult Education allocates work study payroll money to Columbus, to create or save 2.10 jobs. Does this mean someone at Columbus Technical College only works four hours a week? Or is that one-tenth worker a midget?

+ A dot in eastern Russell County reveals the Alabama Department of Transportation has an even smaller stimulus project. It creates or saves 0.04 jobs - which sounds like the money is paying for a highway flag-waver's lunch breaks.

The most visible stimulus project in Columbus is the "rails to trails" path under construction across the city. A couple of large buildings are being built along the trail. They look like rest stops - but I suppose they could double as rally sites for Democratic candidates.

But one project listed for Columbus has the sort of strange wording you've come to expect from the federal government. More than six million dollars is allocated for "redesigned polygons," which also could be created brand-new or redrawn. They're apparently connected with base realignment - although I'm not sure Fort Benning needs a small-scale Pentagon.

I need to recover a bit after a busy week, so we'll end the web review there and move to some Thursday headlines:

+ The Courier disclosed attorney Frank Myers is suing the weekly paper on grounds of libel and defamation. It stems from a March column by Brother Love which linked Myers to Mayor Jim Wetherington, and declared the mayor a "Godfather" over the city. If the mayor really was a godfather, wouldn't a couple of Councilors objecting to the Office of Crime Prevention be dead by now?

(A response posted at The Courier's web site claims Brother Love's column was simply his opinion, using "rhetorical hyperbole." And publisher Wane Hailes could have gone farther - by putting mug shots of Mayor Wetherington and Frank Myers in "The Joint.")

+ Heath Taylor officially launched his campaign for Russell County Sheriff. WTVM reported more than 500 people attended a rally, including outgoing Sheriff Tommy Boswell -- far too many people for Ralph Johnson to consider moving to Phenix City.

+ General David Petraeus of the Central Command visited Fort Benning, to honor one particular graduate of the Officer Candidate School. Lt. Peter Sprenger has been allowed to continue serving in the Army, even though he has only one eye. Send that superhero to Afghanistan, and we should find Usama bin-Laden once and for all.

+ WTVM showed a Columbus home that's on sale for $1.35 million. The house has five bedrooms and a "saltwater pool." No wonder it's worth more than a million dollars - someone has to truck in a new tank of water from Panama City Beach every week.

+ At the other extreme, members of a Columbus State University fraternity slept outside overnight. It was a fundraiser for the Homeless Resource Network -- but if no one drank Thunderbird around the sleeping bags, it wasn't quite realistic.

+ The University of Georgia football mascot "Uga VII" died in Savannah. It's weird enough when the death of a bulldog tops the evening sportscast. But when Coach Mark Richt issues a statement of sympathy about the dog's death.... well, is Richt overconfident about beating Kentucky this weekend?

(The keepers of Uga VII say the bulldog had a sudden heart attack. But there's one lingering question on my mind about this death. Was Uga VII wearing a black sweater, or a red one?)

+ An NCAA report showed 49 percent of Georgia Tech's football players get diplomas within six years of starting college. This low percentage probably shouldn't be surprising - since the players want the "Modern Languages" degree to translate Payton Manning's quarterback signals.

+ Instant Message to whomever posted an "attack cow" warning sign on their property in Chambers County: You're kidding, right? I mean, why would anyone really "beware of Lulu?" Unless it was Lulu Roman from the old "Hee Haw" series, running toward me at full-speed....

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 424 (+ 6 , 1.4%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

19 NOV 09 (final): Mark's-A-Lot

I drove by the Columbus federal courthouse around 1:15 p.m. Wednesday, and quickly concluded the Mark Shelnutt jury was still at work. For one thing, a bit WLTZ van was parked outside the door. For another thing, there was no confetti on the sidewalk celebrating an acquittal.

The confetti may have been thrown about two hours later - after a federal jury acquitted attorney Mark Shelnutt on all 36 remaining counts against him. So where did Shelnutt's victory tour begin? At the St. Luke United Methodist Church Wednesday night supper -- or at the Muscogee County District Attorney's office?

Reporters in the courtroom say Mark Shelnutt's relatives cried as the 36 NOT guilty verdicts were read. Shelnutt then broke down in tears, while answering questions outside. Before long, he may have others crying with him - as Shelnutt is a songwriter, and this is a country ballad simply waiting to happen.

While I didn't attend the Mark Shelnutt trial, the news media reports last week led me to guess he would go free. After all, when a prosecutor admits in open court he lied to Shelnutt to get information from him.... well, some people in Columbus actually want their public officials to be honest.

Then there was the evidence indicating "star witness" drug dealer Torrance Hill didn't want to turn against his attorney in the first place. It's easy to understand why. Prison inmates don't have access to that many lawyers - and Gary Bruce didn't become the "good guy" by representing known bad guys.

WRBL was first to interview a member of Mark Shelnutt's jury. Patricia Jackson said she does NOT consider Shelnutt completely innocent - but the federal indictment was poorly worded, compared to the language of federal law. For instance, how do you "corruptly" offer free Georgia football tickets to someone? Especially if they're not wrapped inside an Auburn T-shirt?

The prosecutors had little to say to reporters after the verdict was announced. Carlton Bourne said he accepted the jury's decision - and that was about it. He'll now be in hiding in Macon, until President Obama appoints a replacement.

Mark Shelnutt's attorneys suggested the federal case had political motives -- and they very well could be right. Remember the envelope left at our front door last December, with a DVD and court transcripts? [9 Dec 08] Now that the verdict is in, I feel comfortable revealing clues about its origin. Especially since I was NOT called as a witness during the trial....

After closely checking the DVD from last December, I've found evidence indicating it was prepared in part on a Columbus city computer. And it was done by an assistant to former District Attorney Gray Conger -- someone who is NOT working under Julia Slater now. I'd go even further, but I might have to hire Mark Shelnutt to defend me in a lawsuit if I did.

This detail could matter, because Gray Conger has been rumored as a candidate for federal Magistrate Judge. But I have to note Conger seemed as surprised by the December DVD at the doorstep as I was. He called me to ask if we knew who delivered it. I had a guess then, which is more educated now -- and FedEx will be disappointed to learn it has nothing to do with this.

But back to the trial: former Columbus Mayor Frank Martin told WTVM Mark Shelnutt still faces a difficult future. He has to regain his law firm's reputation, and might have to charge lower fees. That's OK by me -- the fewer trips to Schomberg Road with boxes of money, tbe better.

Attorney Frank Martin said truth be told, most lawyers probably have accepted "drug money" at some point. And we're not talking about Ken Nugent suing the makers of Vytorin....

But Frank Martin added many hospitals probably also take "drug money," when pushers and abusers go in for medical treatment. Why does almost every topic these days come back around to health care reform?

THE BIG BLOG QUESTION we posted Wednesday night was offered to us during Mark Shelnutt's trial -- but we decided to hold it until the verdict was announced, then adjust it a bit. Should the verdict make a difference in two local upcoming elections? Will it matter to District Attorney Julia Slater? Should any local judges be nervous? And for a side issue, should Shelnutt now release a music CD?

E-MAIL UPDATE: Reaction reached us quickly about the Mark Shelnutt verdict. And of all places, it came from a north Georgia author....

As some of you know one of my greatest supporters during the research for MIBC, Attorney Mark Shelnutt, has been in the fight of his life with the Federal Govt. and has had a 40 count indictment of the most ludicrous criminal charges imaginable hanging over his head.

However, today he was found Not Guilty on all those counts and I want to publicly congratulate him for holding his own and rising up from a situation that must have felt like the depths of hell for the whole Shelnutt family.

Breathe easy dear friend, the sky is the limit!

Cilla McCain

McCain's abbreviation is for her upcoming book "Murder in Baker Company," about the killing of Fort Benning soldier Richard Davis. I hope Shelnutt didn't store any of Davis's personal belongings in his bedroom kitty box.

Another e-mail reached us early Wednesday, hours before the verdict was announced:

don't know Mark Shellnut and the only info I have on his case is from the media..However,do you think there is a motive for his recent marriage?..Remember, a wife does not have to testify against a husband..

Late Tue afternoon I was watching WTVM news..THe weather came on and the reporter said, "Today (Tue) was a beautiful day"..I thought something is wrong here because at my house it was raining..At the top of the screen was the banner that said,Monday...They were evidently using a tape of the wrong day...

Hmmmm -- a motive for marriage?! I would never think of comparing Mark Shelnutt with Anna Nicole Smith.

But here's the thing: when ex-wife Chris Shelnutt took the witness stand, she testified for the defense. So come to think of it, the government "witch hunt" even had some limits to it....

I didn't see the weather forecast mentioned in this e-mail. Maybe the reporter who declared Tuesday beautiful has a second job selling rain collection buckets.

BLOG UPDATE: Don't worry, legal eagles -- we may already have the next hot Columbus court case. WLTZ's web site has dubbed Judy Wilkinson the "Mimosa Madame." People who live on Mimosa Street in Midtown should send their angry e-mails to Julie Bercik.

A Recorder's Court judge found Judy Wilkinson guilty Wednesday of serving alcohol without a license at her Formal Elegance bridal shop. Wedding planners should learn a lesson from this -- and save the "champagne kisses" for the reception.

The Recorder's Court judge sentenced Judy Wilkinson to 30 days of probation - but she's appealing the conviction to state court anyway. Wilkinson explained she's received plenty of support from the business community. How ARE they opening eyes at the Chamber of Commerce eye-opener breakfasts, anyway?

Judy Wilkinson admitted she's not sure how this case will affect her position on the West Point City Council. If other Councilors send her wine baskets as Thanksgiving gifts, I guess we'll have the answer.

A few things happened Wednesday, away from the courthouses....

+ Mayor Jim Wetherington declared it "Charlie Daniels Day" in Columbus, as the singer performed a benefit concert at the RiverCenter. Directors of Camp Laughing Child admitted last week on WBOJ-FM the ticket price might make it "a sacrifice to attend...." For some of us from the North, a Southern rock concert would take some sacrifice at any price.

+ The Columbus Civic Center held a one-day "fire sale" of Kelly Clarkson tickets for $14.99. Uh-oh -- is this concert in trouble, as Darius Rucker's reportedly was? Does Clarkson need to appear with some WWE wrestlers?

+ WRBL reported the new Kia plant in West Point soon will have its own bank. If the tellers demand gold instead of dollars, be afraid -- be very afraid.

+ Ron Nelson confirmed he will NOT return as Phenix City Central football coach next season. Instead, he's hoping to be the honorary launcher of the fireworks at Thunder on the Hooch.

+ Columbus State University's basketball teams had "Cougar Madness" night, to promote the new season. Most major colleges do this at midnight on the opening night of practice. But the C.S.U. coaches realize they could only get a crowd at midnight by setting up baskets outside Victory Drive clubs.

+ Kellogg's announced the Atlanta-area flooding of last September will mean a stoppage in frozen waffle production, perhaps until next summer. Yes, we could have a nationwide Eggo shortage -- and the cries to "leg-go my Eggo" potentially could turn violent.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 418 (+ 14 , 3.5%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

18 NOV 09: Closing Time

Sometimes it can be awkward to have a member of your family on jury duty. When I was a boy, my mother never would tell me the details of cases she was hearing - only something vague, like it was a "civil" case. Yes, even in my youth I tried to do investigative journalism....

So Tuesday night must have been interesting in the homes of Mark Shelnutt's jurors. They are NOT sequestered in a hotel, and Federal Judge Clay Land has instructed them throughout the trial not to read or watch anything about the case. So if the jurors don't explain a big jump in our blog readership Tuesday, it must be the attorneys.

The jury in the Mark Shelnutt trial retired for the evening, after four hours of deliberations. TV reports noted there's 36 counts to decide, and a lot of evidence to consider. The jurors certainly have learned one thing -- if they work through lunch, be sure to get a receipt for the food.

WRBL reports Judge Clay Land told the jury NOT to come to him with reports of 7-5 deadlocks. He said the only score he wants to hear is 12-0. I think that means Land is rooting for Carver High School to beat Woodward Academy in the playoffs this weekend.

Judge Clay Land's instructions included this comment: "You will never have to explain your verdict to anyone." The Ledger-Enquirer web site actually posted that sentence -- yet that's where you'll probably read interviews with jurors this weekend.

The instructions to the jury also included a statement that it's NOT against the law for attorneys to be paid in cash. It simply looks odd in 2009, when almost everyone has a credit or debit card.

Each side in the Mark Shelnutt trial had 90 minutes to present closing arguments. Prosecutor David Stewart claimed the defendant "tried to take control" of a drug-running conspiracy. Yet if Torrance Hill owns race cars and Shelnutt only invests in baseball cards, who's really in control here?

Prosecutors claimed Mark Shelnutt received much more than attorney's fees from Torrance Hill - he received "drug money." Shelnutt is accused of trying to hide that money in a bedroom safe, along with real estate investments from Florida to North Carolina. And imagine what could have happened if Bernard Madoff ever visited Columbus.

U.S. Attorney Carlton Bourne focused on the list of Mark Shelnutt held on a secretly-recorded videotape. Bourne argued Shelnutt broke the law by calling Torrance Hill's ex-wife to collect "drug money." But no one brought forward a collection agent from Bill Heard Chevrolet, to confirm the ethics of that.

Defense Attorney Tom Withers told the jury Mark Shelnutt has done nothing wrong - and the federal investigation has left him a "shattered man." Not so shattered that he couldn't find a second wife to marry in recent weeks, but still....

Tom Withers also argued law enforcement officers went too far, in an attempt to ruin Mark Shelnutt's reputation. He even accused a member of the Metro Narcotics Task Force of going out to "infect the community." C'mon now - I don't think narcotics agents seized the champagne at Formal Elegance.

I didn't realize until Tuesday night that Tom Withers lives in Savannah, and fellow defense attorney Craig Gillen is from Atlanta. Columbus has dozens of attorneys -- so why wouldn't any of them represent Mark Shelnutt? Do they still think he's going to run for Superior Court Judge next year?

If you want a good private look at the activity outside future federal trials, we received an offer in the mail which could interest you. A loft apartment in the 1200 block of First Avenue is on sale right now. But the price is about $174,000. And somehow, I have a feeling the realtor is going to demand payments over at least 15 years - by check.

While much of Columbus holds its breath awaiting a verdict, other things of note are happening....

+ Phenix City-Russell County Library officials told the city council they're seeking a matching grant to expand its parking lot. So the library had to reduce hours and staffing because money is tight - but it can find the money for new pavement?!

+ Alabama Governor Bob Riley toured a recycling center in Auburn. Riley stopped short of urging the state House and Senate to change the rules next year, so he can be recycled for a third term.

(The Governor told reporters the recycling center in a residential area of Auburn is "clean, with no smell." He could have made a comparison with the upcoming state legislative session, but....)

+ The Atlanta weekly paper "Southern Voice" went out of business, citing a lack of money. The tabloid focused on homosexual-related news. I heard a local pastor claim two years ago the Southeast drought was due to Atlanta embracing the homosexuality -- so this shutdown finally could explain all the rain.

+ Wofford whipped Georgia in men's college basketball 60-57. I hesitate to call this an upset, because the Bulldog basketball team struggled last season - and because the Georgia coaches might have called another "blackout" night.

+ Instant Message to President Obama: Whatever you do in South Korea, do NOT drive a Kia. Fox News Channel will show video of the West Point plant, and declare you anti-American all over again.

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 404 (+ 18 , 4.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

17 NOV 09: A Dry Eye in the House

Don't worry, Mark Shelnutt supporters -- we'll get to the defense's case. But we try to make this a humor blog first, and another Monday news item offered much better joke material. Prospective brides, undercover police, a city council member, champagne - I mean, what's not to like?

The owner of a Columbus bridal shop was in Recorder's Court Monday, and is due to return today. Judy Wilkinson happens to be a member of the West Point City Council - so being stuck in court on one of the biggest days in West Point history had to be embarrassing. And to make things worse, Columbus police don't drive Kia patrol cars.

Judy Wilkinson was arrested over the weekend on charges of serving alcohol to customers at the Formal Elegance bridal shop on Veterans Parkway. I thought these businesses stopped at letting brides try on gowns - not displaying test bachelor parties.

Columbus Police say they received several complaints about Judy Wilkinson serving alcohol at her bridal shop. The likely prime source of these complaints is sitting right across Veterans Parkway - and Beacon Seminary might go after Mellow Mushroom Pizza next.

So over the weekend, an undercover police officer went inside Formal Elegance. A male officer claimed to be shopping for tuxedos - but apparently was ready to use a cummerbund as a restraint device.

Police say the undercover officer saw Judy Wilkinson serve mimosas to several customers - a mix of orange juice and champagne. If this is true, it's simply shocking to me. I thought Vera Wang became a famous bridal gown designer because of artistic creativity - not because alcohol led to stupefied brides.

At this point in the story, Judy Wilkinson's attorney says Columbus Police really went too far. Officers apparently went inside Formal Elegance, seized the alcohol, arrested the owner and hauled her downtown for processing. If the producers of "Bridezillas" read this blog, I'm hereby trademarking the name "Copzillas" for any spinoff reality shows.

The attorney for Judy Wilkinson announced in Recorder's Court she's filed a complaint against Columbus Police. She claims the nature of the arrest in front of other customers was embarrassing. David Caruso of "CSI: Miami" might have answered that by saying, "Don't serve the drink, and you'll stay out of the clink."

(This complaint by a business owner's attorney seems a bit absurd to me. More people probably drive by the arrest of a DUI suspect, yet do drunk drivers file complaints? Have we reached the point where police have to take cubicle walls to a crime scene?)

Judy Wilkinson's attorney says when she obtained a city business license for Formal Elegance, she wanted permission to serve alcohol - and she thought the license office had filled out the paperwork properly. Police witnesses in Recorder's Court claimed no such permit was in the paperwork. I'm not sure disco singer Evelyn "Champagne" King could even make a comeback in Columbus.

The attorney for Judy Wilkinson wants the charge of serving alcohol without a license dropped, because of a city employee error. Police might respond she didn't have to serve champagne inside a bridal shop in the first place. She could serve alcohol-free "Fauxmosas." Or I suppose she could promote her business at a golf club, by serving Fore-mosas.

But Columbus Police Chief Ricky Boren told the Ledger-Enquirer Judy Wilkinson still might be in trouble, because she offered mimosas free of charge. Longtime residents may remember the night in the 1990s when the RedStixx baseball team was barred from selling 25-cent beer. Some things in Columbus simply are considered too valuable to give away.

Whatever the outcome, this case of champagne alcohol sales arrest probably surprised a lot of people. Who could have imagined Columbus bridal shops were offering mixed drinks to customers? This might spark protests outside Men's Wearhouse, from guys demanding similar treatment.

-> Our other blog starts with poker, then goes in directions you might not expect. Check "On the Flop!" <--

BLOG UPDATE: Closing arguments are expected today in the federal trial of Mark Shelnutt. Well, I mean arguments by the attorneys in the courtroom. Arguing between Shelnutt's supporters and critics might not close for years to come.

Federal Judge Clay Land dismissed three more counts against Mark Shelnutt Monday, at the prosecution's request. That leaves 36 counts out of 40 for the jury to consider - which could allow prosecutors to argue a tithe already has been removed for the minister's son.

WRBL reported the federal courtroom was packed Monday with members of Mark Shelnutt's church. Shelnutt took the turnout from St. Luke United Methodist as a show of support. But I wonder how many showed up to see if Pastor Hal Brady would tell off everyone in the courtroom, for violating the "false witness" commandment.

Pastor Hal Brady was called as a defense character witness. He testified Mark Shelnutt offered legal services to several people at no charge. The legal phrase for such work is "pro bono" - although no evidence has been introduced to prove Shelnutt is in favor of the music of Sonny Bono and Cher.

Another defense witness Monday was Mark Shelnutt's ex-wife, Chris. She told the court she handled the bill-paying at home, and the attorney kept cash in a "kitty box" in the bedroom. If thousands of dollars were kept there, that would make Mark Shelnutt look more like a fat cat....

While Muscogee County District Attorney Julia Slater has NOT testified in the trial, a member of her staff did Monday. Jennifer Dunlap joined the D.A.'s office from Mark Shelnutt's law firm -- but no, I do NOT think one of the 36 counts involves being an on-the-spot professional reference in a job interview.

E-MAIL UPDATE: One of our contestants in Monday's "Ultimate Guy Championship" offered a quick response - and thankfully, Torrance Hill did NOT put out a contract on me....

Thanks for the nomination, Richard, also on behalf of Fox 54's "For Men Only" segment. Read your blog this AM and for the record, I don't drink or smoke cigars, I love to cook/grill, Not big into fishing, and yes Ride in style in my Honda Odyssey minivan.

Our apologies to Jason Dennis for calling his segment on WXTX News at Ten "Just for Men." We confused it with WLTZ's "Just for Her" segment. Now which Columbus TV station will dare to begin a daily feature on bisexuality?

We added up the score Monday for our four contenders - and sadly, drug dealer Torrance Hill seems to be the Ultimate Guy champion. We registered him positive on three of the six standards. Jason Dennis rates slightly above Mark Shelnutt for second place - because even if you don't smoke cigars, Shelnutt might note possession still is nine-tenths of the law.

Now let's add up the other Monday news of interest:

+ The Kia plant in West Point officially rolled out its first car. Georgia Governor Sonny Perdue was NOT present for the occasion - settling for a news release, while he seeks new business in the United Arab Emirates. When Kia executives won't wait for personal praise from the governor, you know he's a lame duck.

+ The Muscogee County School Board discussed changing its meeting rules, to put a five-minute time limit on public comments. They're really forcing Bert Coker to run for the board next year, aren't they?

+ Columbus State University dedicated its newest building, the Schuster Student Success Center. Any freshman who can say "Schuster Student Success Center" five times without error will receive credit for passing a speech course.

+ The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Georgia Lottery President Margaret DeFrancisco received a $204,000 bonus last fiscal year. Wow - which Fantasy Five jackpot did she hit?

+ Auburn was mauled by Missouri State in men's basketball 73-62. The Auburn announcers noted Missouri State is projected to finish last in the Missouri Valley Conference this season. So Tiger coach Jeff Lebo is now projected to finish his last updated resume around mid-December.

(Missouri State plays its home games in the John Q. Hammons Arena. You'd think Auburn would have done better there - since the fans are simply members of the John Q. public.)

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 386 (+ 10, 2.7%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.

16 NOV 09: Who's the Man?

The first-ever Columbus "Ultimate Guys Expo" concluded Sunday at the Trade Center. Some of us thought this already happened twice a year, when the gun show came through town....

The Ultimate Guys Expo had amazing timing, as it came during a weekend break in the federal trial of Mark Shelnutt. In the past few days, people following the case have been introduced to two very different men - one a convicted drug "kingpin" (using the Ledger-Enquirer's headline), the other an attorney. Torrance Hill and Shelnutt broke up their "bro-mance" before that word was cool.

If you think about it, both Torrance Hill and Mark Shelnutt have presented different perspectives on what a real man should be. One lived a big-bucks high life, with a network of aides and international connections. And here's the amazing thing - the other man is simply an attorney.

CORRECTED: So who's closest to the standard for manhood? Today we borrow from Ultimate Fighting, and present the first Columbus Ultimate Guy Championship. Our four contenders are Torrance Hill, Mark Shelnutt, Jason Dennis from the WXTX "For Men Only" reports - and yours truly. I'm probably already at a disadvantage, because I've never called my computer room a "Man-Cave."

The criteria for this contest come directly from the advertising promoting the Ultimate Guys Expo. So may the best guy win, as we compare and contrast....

1. COGNAC TASTING. Torrance Hill had enough drug money that he probably invested in a bottle or two. Mark Shelnutt is the son of a minister - so he probably has a hidden chilled bottle of champagne, ready to drink with his wife if he's acquitted.

Jason Dennis is a devout Christian husband and dad, so I doubt he downs anything stouter than wine coolers. And as for me - I'd like to thank Piggly Wiggly for the in-store coupon, allowing me to buy four two-liter bottles of Coke Zero at a discount the other day.

2. COOKING. Torrance Hill probably has no experience with this. His drug use stopped at cocaine, not methamphetamine....

As a busy downtown attorney, Mark Shelnutt likely has gained most of his nourishment at restaurants such as Minnie's and Ruth Ann's. Jason Dennis openly talks about grilling outside on weekends. But my Sunday evening dinner was cooked indoors on the stove -- with store-brand macaroni and cheese costing several cents less than Kraft.

3. CIGARS. They say one bad habit leads to another, so I suspect Torrance Hill has smoked a few. But Mark Shelnutt doesn't look like a cigar smoker to me. Maybe if he handled more immigration cases....

I recall Jason Dennis offering cigars to friends, when he became a father. But if he offered one to me, I'd turn it down. I can spot second-hand smoke in my lungs 50 yards away when I'm jogging - and after playing poker in a few local clubs, I'm a bit amazed I still can jog at all.

4. FISHING. You might say Mark Shelnutt's family background is into "fishing for men," so he's probably good at this. But Torrance Hill is a very different story. His background is in hunting, not fishing - as in law enforcement authorities hunting FOR him.

It's not hard to imagine Jason Dennis fishing with his children by a lake. But I'm certainly not an "Ultimate Guy" in this category. I don't even go fishing for attractive women at dance clubs anymore.

5. FANCY WHEELS. Testimony in court this past week indicated Torrance Hill once owned a race car. Maybe he should have sold it to Carl Edwards, so the Aflac sponsorship can win at least one Sprint Cup race.

I don't tend to spy other people's cars, which probably makes me a failure here as well. But Mark Shelnutt strikes me as an attorney with a modest car, as opposed to a Cadillac. And if Jason Dennis doesn't drive what co-workers used to call a "Mommy-Van," the day isn't far off.

6. FOOTBALL TAILGATING. Torrance Hill may have opened his tailgate often in parking lots. But I doubt he was slow-roasting ribs before a game -- more like lightning-fast "downloads," if you know what I mean.

Some might say part of the federal case against Mark Shelnutt involves tailgating. Prosecutors say he accepted $125,000 in legal fees in a supermarket parking lot - but there's no evidence so far that Shelnutt turned around and made a "high-steaks" purchase.

Jason Dennis's children play youth soccer on weekends. I suspect his "tailgating" is limited to post-game packages of cupcakes.

And the tailgating topic is my ultimate downfall as a guy. I've never really done that outside a football game. The "birthday tent" for my older brother in September [6 Sep] doesn't really count - not when you have to unload cases of beer about four blocks away.

BLOG UPDATE: The second week of Mark Shelnutt's federal trial opens today. Judge Clay Land told jurors he expected a two-week trial. And Shelnutt certainly would like a decision this week - because SOA Watch protesters might need defense attorneys next Sunday and Monday.

When court was last in session, Federal Judge Clay Land threw out one of the 40 counts against Mark Shelnutt. Land admitted outside the jury's hearing he had "concerns" about the government's case -- and that seems understandable. If an attorney with big legal fees offered to buy my dinner at a restaurant, I'd consider it a blessing....

Federal prosecutor Mel Hyde testified Mark Shelnutt tried to pick up a restaurant tab for it - and Hyde didn't even know Shelnutt was there. I've never met Hyde, but maybe his hair is cut like a Fort Benning officer.

Mel Hyde also told the court Mark Shelnutt seemed "paranoid" at times, and offered him free Georgia football tickets. Hyde says on every occasion, he turned Shelnutt down. The lesson here should be obvious - have Auburn football tickets ready as a backup.

We'll see what the defense offers this week - but for now, let's offer a few more weekend discoveries:

+ A Friday afternoon jog found river water had receded from the Phenix City Riverwalk, but still covered the downtown part of the Columbus Riverwalk. All right now - which city needs to be cleaned of corruption more?

+ A federal report indicated Columbus Bank and Trust controls almost 58 percent of the banking deposits in Columbus. If this much dominance concerns you, it could be worse. One TV station has almost 100 percent of the news viewers on Saturday and Sunday.

+ Fort Benning announced the gate at Custer Road will remain closed on weekends and federal holidays, to save money. Is this move really necessary? Why not put soldiers on K.P. duty at the gate with buckets of potatoes, to teach them multitasking?

+ The HLN network aired a Clark Howard consumer advice program, which was taped at Fort Benning several weeks ago. This month marks 25 years since I began work at that cable channel. It's been CNN2, CNN Headline News, simply Headline News - and now I call it "Helen" for short.

+ Russell County Sheriff Tommy Boswell confirmed to the Ledger-Enquirer he'll retire when his current term ends next year. Deputy Heath Taylor plans to launch a campaign for the job this week - so Russell County could be trading in Tommy guns for Heath bars.

+ Instant Message to Indianapolis Colts linebacker Philip Wheeler: Aw, c'mon - this was your big moment in the Sunday night spotlight. Why didn't you tell the TV audience you went to Shaw High School? Do the Raiders have to get back to the playoffs first?

To offer a story tip, advertise to our readers, make a PayPal donation or comment on this blog, write me - but be warned, I may post your e-mail comment and offer a reply.

BURKARD BULK MAIL INDEX: 376 (- 32, 7.8%)

The views expressed in this blog are solely those of the author -- not necessarily those of anyone else in Columbus living or dead, and perhaps not even you.

© 2003-09 Richard Burkard, all rights reserved.